


wait for me a little while longer

by aethkr



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, Not Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 21:02:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19027876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aethkr/pseuds/aethkr
Summary: Sayo found herself at a Pastel*Palettes live for the first time.





	wait for me a little while longer

Sayo was handed a ticket by Hina the other day. Its contents an attendance to a Pastel*Palettes’ live.

Sayo held back a scowl. Was Hina trying to mock her? She _knew_ Sayo had a complex. Then she was going to give a ticket to a live of a band all her problems stemmed from?

At least, that’s what past her would’ve thought.

She was here, at her sister’s band’s live, sitting within the VIP section because “sis is too boppin to and she deserves the best!”. Sayo wondered if it got her into any trouble, since it would mean a loss of cash, though it was just her who was given a free ticket.

Of course, not that she’d know anything about the industry. It’s intricacies something Sayo found her head spinning in.

_The show will begin in five minutes..._

Sayo looked around. People of varying age, though dominantly male, were in attendance. Some were wearing merch with some of the member’s faces. (Sayo felt both odd and proud seeing Hina’s face on a t-shirt.) Others had penlights; its colors already set to their favorites.

Sayo didn’t have any of those. Hina wanted to, but then agreed it “wouldn’t suit sis” and added that “sis being there is enough encouragement for me!”.

It would be a lie if Sayo said she felt out of place. Fans could turn around and see her and they’d wonder why was she here (they didn’t). The worry gnawing at her that others would judge her presence, but she’d remember Hina’s words and ease would come upon her once more.

Besides, it wasn’t their business to prod over the reasons she attended. Shouldn’t they be grateful that there are others like them?

Or maybe Sayo was just grumpy. Or maybe uncomfortable. Not in the sense she wanted to leave but the feeling of everything around you being foreign and familiar all at once. In the sense that she was about to watch her sister play, and hoping, hoping so much that whatever negative thoughts she was able to set aside for a day wouldn’t try to beat her ass now.

She wanted to enjoy the live. Sayo wanted to watch not as a competitor, but as a fan. She didn’t want to compare herself to a level she currently can’t reach.

(And if she did, which she knew she will, she hoped she’d spend her time seeing where she could improve instead of belittling herself for what she lacked.)

The crowds’ murmurs died down. The arena turning dim before the lights focused on the band now on stage.

“Welcome everyone!” Aya grinned, waving. Sayo remembered Hina telling stories about how many times she’d mess up her spiel. Stories about how they started, their terrible mess of a debut show and how they got through it.

Pastel*Palettes, though their skills aren’t on par to Roselia (a result of Sayo’s subjective thinking), was admirable in their own right.

A part of Sayo was thankful Hina found company when the person she loved so much shunned her. The other part guilty, for Hina was never the cause only a victim.

Sayo noticed the others and they were smiling as they played. They played with a sound distinctly theirs past Sayo would’ve ran away in envy.

Chisato had the elegance of your usual celebrity, knowing what to do and when to do it. Eve was soft, seeing her bounce ever so much as she played made Sayo amused. Maya shined, even if she was at the back she was a sight to behold. And in front of them all was Aya. Sayo could see the nervousness in her eyes but the cutesy movements, her smile, and her voice told her otherwise.

Then Hina appeared.

It was unintentional, a reflex buried deep into her veins it might’ve been better to say that it was already there in the first place. Her eyes scanned the stage and whenever Hina was in view she’d look away.

But Sayo was strong, she was strong. So she looked. She looked and gave Hina all her attention. Sayo wanted to see her sister in her element, wanted to see what she missed out on. Wondering if she could be the sister the girl on stage needed all those years ago. Wondering if that was selfish, and concluding that it was.

Hina sparkled. She said she loved astronomy, and that included stars didn’t it? Hina was a star on stage. She felt different from the rest, enough to steal attention from Aya, but Hina made sure to not hog it all. (Surely her sister wasn’t that selfish, Sayo knew that much.)

There was a smile on her face, the brightest she’s ever seen and Sayo felt her shoulders fill with guilt. And yet her chest didn’t ache, it rang with a gratitude that Hina was in good hands, because hers threw her away.

(Little did she know Hina saw her sister before the show. A surge of confidence entered her, promising to herself to show her sister what she has accomplished. Achievements she reached from seeing her sister play the guitar.)

Sayo watched them go through their setlist. And whenever an MC portion was on, the group said their script, adding their own comments occasionally.

Hina shushed her friends and the audience. “Guys! I have something to say!”

Sayo’s eyebrows raised, her eyes focusing on her sister.

“I just wanna say that I think my sister is here! And I wanna say something to her!”

Hina smiled. She smiled and Sayo could see the arena turn bright blue. It was refreshing, a sunny sky.

The guilt of her mistakes hit her hard, because even through the toughest of times Hina smiled not in anger. Never in anger. Always bittersweet, having not reached her sister again. Having lost her sister again. A prideful smile, for look how amazing my sister was! My sister is amazing!

Hina never raised her voice. Only in pain. Always in pain. Always in desperation because Hina didn’t know how to reach her sister. Because Hina lost her once, and she didn’t want it to happen again. But how do you reach someone who doesn’t want you near them? How do you approach someone who thought your existence to be nothing but worthless?

Hina talked to her with love. Only with love. Always with love. Maybe, Hina thought, if she showered her sister with flowers Sayo would notice the garden she made.

Hina loved her. She loved her but Sayo didn’t. She hated her. Hina’s existence was nothing but a bother, a constant reminder of who she was and what she couldn’t reach. The memory of Hina showing her guitar, a new spring to her step. The feelings of inferiority that sprouted flowers of their own. Ones that multiplied more than Hina’s.

Maybe Hina was— No. Hina was stronger than Sayo. In every single aspect, she was stronger. A bitter part of her told her she always was.

She couldn’t understand why Hina refused to give up on her. Sayo couldn’t understand why Hina wanted her here. Because her twisted mind made Hina a villain, but the true antagonist was Sayo.

The goal of a hero was to defeat evil. And evil was her.

It was a pain Sayo couldn’t take. She searched for the exit, but her legs wouldn’t move. Fear paralyzed her. She was afraid Hina would shame her, and she couldn’t find it in herself to get mad.

A rush of guilt and understanding. Sayo, selfish enough, wondered if this was what Hina felt.

“I wanna say thank you! You’re really boppin~ Thank you for coming! I will make you proud!”

The audience cheered. Sayo found tears stinging her eyes, and Hina’s eyes met hers.

She smiled. Always smiling, never angry, always understanding. Understanding she couldn’t understand. The hopelessness, the regret, the pained expression in her eyes—

Sayo hated it.

“Okay! Our next song! Please enjoy!”

She found herself shaking, gripping the seat’s armrests enough to break glass.

She didn’t deserve Hina, and Hina deserved better. But Hina refused to throw Sayo away like she did to her. Hina whispered, reassured her love for her was a constant. Her love for Sayo was the one thing that never changed, and whatever may happen, it’ll never disappear.

Just like the guitar to Sayo, it’ll never disappear.

And she promised, not to Hina but to herself, she’d do her best to love her sister again.

Amongst the cheers was Sayo, living the newest chapter of her life. And this chapter had Hina in it.

**Author's Note:**

> this originally had an extra scene, but i cut it out since it didn't flow well with the story's tone
> 
> i posted it on twitter though!! so check it out if you want :>>
> 
> twt: aethkr
> 
> link: https://twitter.com/aethkr/status/1134107308659658754


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